Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
