I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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