Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I did not marry a roomba.
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