me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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