Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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