he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
