help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
