So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
