So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
