I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
