oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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