Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
my being single is dangerous.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
