Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
