I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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