Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
