Whoa Z and x make the same sound
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
