Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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