And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
