between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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