thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
