woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
