I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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