At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
