strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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