I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
