overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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