Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
