So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Everything about him screamed your future.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
The ass gains better be worth it
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