I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Maybe he injected his testicle?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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