Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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