Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
how drunk are you?
Several
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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