see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just pee around me
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
