Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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