theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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