can u get pink eye on your cock?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
