ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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