Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
