This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The Olympian is in my bed
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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