He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
