Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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