Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
her vagine was all disorganized.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
