The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
