Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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