Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
