bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
