Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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