3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
