Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You made out with two different species that night
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
