the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
