I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Who wears a wallet chain?!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize