tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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