People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He has the fingertips of a God
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