I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
