We won't sleep together?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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