so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
