$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I AM VODKA MAN
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
